The baby is not sleeping

August 31, 2022

One of the first recommendations that a couple of future parents receive is « sleep now because as soon as it is born you are finished! ». While, in the sleepless period: " Pass, don't be discouraged... ". The topic of newborn sleep is very close to the heart of mum and dad, who fear they won't be able to manage the situation, especially with the first child - with the second they may not manage it anyway, but generally they fear it less - Readings after readings, rituals, advice and possible recourse to sleep specialists, up to total confusion which, thanks to tiredness, does not help to face a moment destined to its natural settling. Every newborn is born with a personality and, since there is no textbook solution, there are many variables for falling asleep: parents who offer the bottle, endless walks, rocking, neurotic pushes in the pram, car rides, blender and vacuum cleaner running… Anything to put him to sleep . When this happens, the world stops and we wait… The sleep of the newborn is "lighter": the active sleep phase or REM (Rapid Eye Movement, characterized by intense brain activity) prevails over the phase of calm or non-REM sleep (deeper and more restorative). If he wakes up, and he wakes up, it's not your fault! During the first year of life, sleep changes: the nervous circuits that regulate the sleep/wake cycle mature and the baby gradually gets used to extrauterine life. The stages of development vary according to needs and habits, so pay attention to the comparisons: if your question «how much sleep does yours sleep?», the answer is «practically always, we are very lucky», don't succumb, new parents. There is no right or wrong , some children pick up the rhythm earlier than others. A practical tip is to mark their day , to regularize important moments such as sleep and meals. Children have habits and it is important to adapt to

How baby sleep works

their rhythms, evaluate the environment in which they sleep, make them go to bed at the same time each time and focus on calming and relaxing activities (bath, little song, soft lights…). A valid advice is to get the little one used to living during the day in an illuminated and vital environment, to learn the difference between day and night. The premises for a good night's sleep are also conditioned by neurological, genetic, psychological and emotional factors, and by the patient attempts of the parents. In the first period sleep is frequently interrupted by the sense of hunger, every 2-3 hours: some start immediately with a more continuous sleep during the night, others wake up every 30-60 minutes. To rearrange ideas, we can roughly divide the stages of sleep in the first year of life into 12 months, considered by experts to be the most important:

At 1 month, no difference between daytime sleep and nighttime sleep. Without preferences between day and night, at this age you may experience what will be a short sleeper or a long sleeper: some babies sleep 20 hours, for others 14 hours are enough. Sleep consolidates the memory and everything the child learns during the day, stimulates growth hormone secretion, strengthens the immune system, allows the body to slow down and the brain to "cleanse" itself of toxins accumulated during wakefulness.
At 2 months, the acquisition of the circadian rhythm begins. The periods of wakefulness begin to concentrate towards the afternoon and evening, often associated with a certain restlessness linked to adaptation to extrauterine life. The child begins to acquire the circadian rhythm, organized on the periodicity of the 24 hours, the cardiac and respiratory activity and the hormonal secretions.
At 3 months, nocturnal sleep and daytime sleep are differentiated. Sleep is reduced to 13-14 hours. The child begins to structure his sleep-wake rhythm, with longer periods of wakefulness alternating with shorter daytime naps and longer nighttime sleeps.
At 4-6 months, nocturnal sleep Overall sleep needs remain 12-14 hours, concentrated in the night and more continuous hours. The child begins to be influenced by the light/dark alternation.
At 7-9 months, nocturnal awakenings Nocturnal sleep is conditioned by separation anxiety and by the daily news that the child faces with energy. Nocturnal awakenings are usually concentrated between 21 and 24 and between 3 and 6; the administration of water, herbal teas, milk, or moments of play can favor the awakening of the child.
At 10-12 months, acquisition of sleep-wake rhythm and lifestyle habits.

At this age, most babies sleep through the night without breaks for feeding. The total sleep requirement is reduced to about 12 hours , and daytime naps are no more than 2. We accept that in the first months of life children can wake us up, because it's neither a whim nor a management error . We don't wait until they're exhausted to put them to bed. A very tired baby is more irritable and difficult to fall asleep. Let's put them to bed where they will have to spend the night, without unnecessary movements that could disorient them when they wake up. If the child spends more time with mum and dad during the day, he will suffer less from sleep detachment. The issue of falling asleep is much debated. But between Eduard Estivill's method - which involves accepting crying to achieve sleep autonomy - and cosleeping, high contact until the child requests it (even 3 years old), there is a middle ground, which induces to sleep independently without the baby being deprived of cuddles and cradled. Accept your children's needs with love, tenderness and reassurance, without performance anxiety. What you do will be the best. Taken from Being Born a Mother by Gloria Cardano